4/10/10

Honour Amongst Dogs

On a week that we saw a lot of altercations between the media and people who think they are above the law isn’t it interesting that it ended on an encouraging note. Not only did we see the Visagie AWB chap being hackled by e.tv’s Chris Maroleng after he blew his lid while being interviewed by the daughter of a pan-Africanist Lebogang Pheko.

The week ended well because finally ANC chief Jacob Zuma decided to develop some teeth. On Saturday he finally promised to sink them so deep into Juju that the poor boy with a Sandton address will get rabies on the spot. But our understanding of their fragile relationships has informed some of us that JZ is a ram and Juju is trusted lapdog – more trusted than Mo Shaik.

See Juju started off as a Chihuahua – back in the days when spooks like Mo were vultures staking Thabo Mbeki. Juju was a Chihuahua with an in-built alto vuvuzela, a cheerleader really. Now Juju is barking like a German shepherd and his latest bark is ‘rubbish is what lies under your trousers, that’s rubbish… bastard…bladdy agent’. Poor Jonah Fisher timidly walked out since he couldn’t imagine ANC security guards who massacred so many people when Luthuli was still Shell House throwing his ‘white’ ass out of the skyscraper.

As journalist we always expect blood and gore when we go out on assignments but none at a Luthuli 11th floor media conference. Yes, most of the times we go out and really have to step over dry blood as we take pictures of warm corpses, but such an expectation will never cross our minds when invited to a Zimbabwe Tour Report Back media conference.

Now you see, these conferences are supposed to be choreographed by folks like Floyd Shibambu (he of Floetry fame) and no insurance taken since people hardly die at media conferences. We even leave our bulletproofs in the boots of our cars when we go to media conferences.

That’s until Juju stepped in and turned them into battle zones. Now JZ says he will hang him high by the balls. I’m surprised cuz I doubt if Juju does have balls. However it’s a welcome development.

3/22/10

The Jub-Jub Reality Show



MPUMALANGA'S FINEST

3/14/10

Do We Need A Truth Commission, Would the Teachers Line Up to Confess?
We are a nation obsessed with the truths we can handle. We bury under the rubble of patriotism anything that exposes our vulnerabilities like the Ralushai Report on Traditional Leadership, Operation Dribble, Jali and Khampepe Commissions’ findings, Inquiry into Umkhonto we Sizwe Atrocities and Commission of Inquiry into Witchcraft in Limpopo. We settle for forums where liars can perjure and escape like the Desai, Harms, and Goldstone Commissions, SABC Commission of Inquiry into Blacklisting and Related Matters, Hefer and Truth and Reconciliation Commissions etc.

Today in South Africa, especially brazenly so in Bushbuckridge we are faced with teachers who will obstruct any investigation into their sexual conduct with learners. At the same time we are burdened with teacher unions which instruct their members not to co-operate with whoever tries to investigate such atrocities. And then there are learners who are bribed and intimidated not to talk to any investigator about what they see happening in and outside of classrooms. Incidentally, we have School Governing Bodies which are run by political appointees who themselves are often guilty of the same crime or are taking instructions from their political bosses not to act.

On the ‘blamed’ side is the department of education that is incapable and ill-equipped to execute ‘truth’ investigations of this magnitude. South African Council of Educators does not have a lie detector to know if a teacher is lying about his liaisons with learners and its scope is limited. On the final end we have a Jacob Zuma government that is so focused on its own public image that it spends a lot of time and money on PR than investing in the future. The future is education and education is only feasible when learners don’t fall pregnant and drop out, are not abused by teachers and parents and are afforded the best protection by society. Half the abuse happening in black schools will not suffice in hoĆ«rskools and where the SGBs are made up of lawyers, accountants and company executives.

The atrocities committed by teachers in Bushbuckridge warrant a commission of inquiry with judicial powers to subpoena and charge people with perjury if they lie under oath. SADTU has shown its unwillingness to discipline its own members and only a process whereby ten years of abuse will be revisited and people punished can remedy this practice with the potential to arrest development. One wonders why would teachers celebrate an own goal when they score with 14-years old girls?

Without any intervention of judicial proportions there is no future for the girl-child. The Cell C Take A Girl-Child to Work campaign, which Zuma takes part in every year is just a futile money wasting exercise because the girl-child is not going to work but to labour.

Any investigation without judicial powers is a mockery and this year arrogant teachers in Bushbuckridge will be impregnating another bunch, it collapses into the social net and the teachers’ own children will be wearing their shiny blazers as they saunter into hoĆ«rskools and seminaries in town. South Africa had cold-blooded killers confessing at the TRC; it can’t fail to get confessions from teachers and former learners – for the sake of our future.

2/24/10

What Teachers Are Now Famous For

If you have opinions about this cartoon go to The Kasiekulture Blog and post your comment

2/23/10

Become A Book Name in a World Full of No-Names




MPUMALANGA'S FINEST

2/20/10

Do I Look That Stupid?

Hello,

I have to thank God this moment for his direction as regards thismission. God want me to complete this mission hence, I got your contact.I know you maybe wondering how I got your contact email.

Actually when I heard from the doctor that my condition has become socritical, I had to reach out to a Christian sister, who assisted me insearching for your contact in order to help me utilize this wealth theway I am going to instruct herein, and even the sister that helped me inthis regard doesn't know the purpose for which I intend to use it I haveprayed about it and it has been revealed to me that you can makejudicious use of the resources for its intended purpose.

I am currently sending you this mail from my sick bed in the hospital.My husband earned these funds (10,800,000.00 USD) but he died in a planecrash and left everything behind for me and I will join him soon due tomy ill health. Due to my infertility resulting from medical problems Ibecame barren.

God has a reason for everything. I would want you tocontact my lawyer; he will inform you on what to do.

Contact him withthe below details:
Barrister Henry Slater Email: henryslater@unlimitedmail.org Telephone: +44-701-113-6910

Ensure to use a greater portion of the funds for its purpose infulfilment of my last wish. Furthermore you will never have any problemwith the law as you will only pay some amount to the government as taxand a minor percentage to settle the bill of the bank and the most majorpart you will use to bless God's Children all over the world.

You are blessed.

Mrs. Magret Winters.

2/5/10

Shepherds & Sheep - a song exposing child molestors

Shepherds & Sheep

Shepherds & Sheep


Composed by Modise Mogakane

Written by Dido & Tshwarelo Mogakane

Produced By Modise Mogakane

Mastered by Modise Mogakane & Bentar Sibuyi

Recorded @ 1335 Studios

Arranged & Mixed @ 1335 Studios

Published by MegaMak Muzik


Track


Dido


I will go down with this ship,

And I won’t put my hands up, and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love…

And always will be… x 2


Intro


(Aha

And I can see you baby girl, and how you feel

You’know, those hundred feelings

Of bitterness, desperation, confusion

Yeah

Ribelatti’s here

Ribelatti loves you

Shepherds and sheep

Ah)


Ribelatti


Verse 1:


In the blanket of night, he creeps in her room

He’s sick, the creep trade-marking her doom

Takes off his pajamas,

Everything on the floor, including his tangas

In the other room sleeps her mama

The death of world peace, sorry Mr. Dalai Lama

I’ve got to speak it as I see it

If they ban me from talking my mind, so be it

I got beef with motherfuckers who murder chickens

As they say it in they drama, the plot thickens

I think this kinda shit sickens

His dick on Viagra, so nothing weakens

Alright Majita let’s talk this walk

You might be a globe-trotter

But don’t ever cross this border

What kind of a father

Sleeps with his own daughter?

Ke re a le none le a bola

A ke repe eke a sola

Yo useless, ga le na mohola

Le madimoni, kefa ba e rola

Even the devil shakes in his boots

During the day, y’oll dressed in you suits

Fela boshego, le di asshole

How you gonn shove yo penis in yo girl’s hole?

Explain it to me

Be an artist, motherfucker paint it for me

It might be nothing to you, but it’s a pain for me

What you call drizzle, is nothing but rain to me

And I can see tonight it’s raining (tonight it’s raining)

And my heart is paining

Yeah, Ah


Chorus


Dido


I will go down with this ship,

And I won’t put my hands up, and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love…

And always will be… x 2



Verse 2:


Ribelatti


Now…

She’s 25 feeling ready to date

But the monster already decided her fate

Her friends don’t know

Today Mr. Boyfriend wants some more

But she feels violated and dirty

What she gonn do when she turns 30?

Only God knows what goes on in the potholes and the pits of her heart

But I’ma sing these hundred feelings into something Mozart

Baby girl please smile

Forget yo dad, just delete his file

Permanently remove his ass from the recycle bin

I know it’s hard dealing with this cardinal sin

Even Social Development ain’t put money on it

Where them politicians is at?

What do I call it?

A crisis, a syndrome, a disaster?

Worse because one of these porn-star fathers is a pastor

Daddy took her panties off

You tell mommy and all she can do is laugh

Scold you and rough you up

Hey people what the fuck is up?

Did you bring children into the world just to fuck ‘em up?

For them to die?

For them to keep quiet and protect the lie?

This is a family matter

You tell that little girl

I swear it would have been better

Had she been born in hell


Outro:


(Yeah,

Dedicated to all the girls… who slept with they fathers


Imagine shepherds having sex with sheep

Leaders attacking followers in sleep


Doesn’t it bother that this happens under yo nose?

Right under yo nose

It’s not a secret, everybody knows

Because the truth is strange

But it’s time for a change…

Ribelatti…)


– ends –

2/1/10

419?

Today I am in a mood to share with you a letter I got earlier this week. I have been getting this letters recently and my gut feeling tells me their contents are bloody bullshit. What do you think about this letter;

Dear Partner..

I am Mr. George Bamogu a citizen of Sierra Leone. I got your contact through my search for a business partner. I am searching for a reliable and honest business knowledge citizen, who can partner with me into an investment due to the unrest in my region.

I am ready to discuss with you, if you are interested to partner with me.


Kindly provide me with your mobile telephone number, so that I can call you and we can discuss in details towards our partnership investment. Kindly reply back on my private email address (georgebamogu@gmail.com)

Best Regard.

George Bamogu

1/4/10

The 'Hood Diary

The holiday season was the finest piece of detox anybody ever needed. Especially on the heels of a crippling recession and an inflation rate that is daily defying gravity. For some of us still rooted in our ghettos it was quite an intriguing time. Folks we haven't seen in years pitched to appease the old bones of their ancestors to 'help' them navigate the financial crisis. But I mean if your grandparents died broke why the hack do you think they can hook you up R12000 installment for your wheels?

However, beef aside it was quite an interesting time in Shatale, I don' t know about your 'hood but mine was the ultimate 'hood. Here we now have a Luv Ur Hood culture, it's monthly hip-hop sessions hosted by Katsuko at Kabila's and which feature a whole bunch of talented folks with skills still to be unearthed for the mainstream.

During the final show I was disturbed when I heard that this year's gonna happen artist Abe-Crazy demanded R1500 to perform for the 'hood. I mean not at the time that Nas is contemplating hiring the whole Trump Towers top floor for the 'hood at no cost. I mean for the better part of December I have been listening to Abe's music and it is brilliant and I am thinking this dude needs as much publicity as possible and a platform to showcase his skills and potential and I get told that the dude wants R1500. I'm like 'no ways' and I get told that's his condition.

But I mean the whole Luv Ur Hood concept is to encourage people to 'thand' ikasi' which subtracts a transactional relationship. To make matters worse the session contiues with much flav as there are more cats with swag and then Nkoto Malebye, yeah, you know here - the lead singer from Kwani Experience decides to bless the session with a free rap performance.

I should have written free with a capital letter. A recording artist who have travelled the world with an uber group giving a free performance while a dude still hustling for a deal wants money? Tell me I'm being judgmental and I will apologise. Abe is my dog and I shall be the first dude to give his music love cuz it rocks - and I shall be the first to correct when he goes wrong.

Overall the 'hood got love from the regular 'hood cats over the holidays with the MONICE brothers bringing the roof down with their ritualistic gigs, Katlego Mashego mingling with the 'hood commoners during one of the gigs and well - 2010 we are here, regardless of spoilers on New Year's Day. Go out and achieve greatness comrade. Welcome!