To all the Drugs I Used Before

For the first time in so many years I listened to Thobela FM, the station that used to be called Radio Lebowa or Radio Bantu. Like always the topic under discussion was about nation building and moral regeneration. They were actually talking about drugs.

I felt so angelic that I have never really did the hardest of drugs in my short life. They helped me realise that what I called hard drugs was actually mere hallucinogens and depressants while what qualifies as serious narcotics are stimulants.

Incase you have been wondering this are three categories of the stuff. Alcohol is a depressant because it numbs you and slows your responses. That’s why I have always argued when some folks told me that they make better lovers when sloshed. I am often like ‘wait right there broer, for all I know you can’t even use a rubber when sloshed because your glans feels like hard rubber and you can’t fell the oomph’. But well some dudes swear by Charles Glass that they bonk better under the influence – good for them.

Now there are hallucinogens or drugs that give you pictures in your brain which might actually not be there. Those are drugs like benzine, glue, marijuana and nyaope (heroine mixed with dagga). These are classified hallucinogens since music feels better, sex feels better but the problem is that you don’t come because you often give up along the way to follow some thought about a bicycle cycling down Chapman’s Peak. And when you come back to mother earth the dick is limp.

And finally there are stimulants like cocaine, heroine, tick, ecstasy and friends. These narcotics make you feel hyper, you make better sex but it’s just that you sweat a lot as well and you need to keep on hydrating yourself to keep up with the momentum. For all I know you can have a punchy ménage trios when on cocaine and your concentration span is longer. What I don’t know is the side-effects of heavy bonking induced by drugs.

And I thought I have done the worst until I realised that I have been a saint. I deserve a better cocktail or rum weedsmoke and coke. Holler!