Ten Things to do with The King's Brain

I have always suspected that it might be done but was keeping my suspisions on the downlow - that Michael Jackson, in the event of his death won't be allowed to go with his brain. I knew for some time that the curious scientists in America have always wanted to know what makes a darkie suffer such low self-esteem as to aspire to be white, and they wouldn't miss an opportunity to inspect Michael's brain.

Okay!, its official, Michael is going to be buried - minus his brain. The coroner's office in Los Angeles claims that it wants to conduct further tests to see if the King wasn't killed by an overdose of pills - stupid sonofabitch should read my posts and know what the Autopsy results are. And now as a ploy to keep the Gloved One's engine at UCLA they claim that they can only detect such evidence once the brain is dry. I wonder if the brain will rot or dry up.

My question is; if they need a brain to determine levels of toxicology why didn't they keep that of Elvis Presley? Why didn't they keep that of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and all those 27ers who died believing they were going to play on the Orchestra Beyond? Why keep that of The King. Okay!, I am going to speculate why they would do that;

1. to figure out the accuracy of the Evolution of Man mythology

2. to see if he bleached it as well

3. to compare it to that of prisoners doing time at Rickers to see if isolation does ruin your brain

4. to grind it and mix with crack and cocaine to produce a narcotic so potent heroin will finally have its competition

5. to exhibit at the American Museum of Man and charge extra dollars to visit that cubicle

6. to spare the maggots from becoming musicians

7. to start a scam whereby as many loyal fans as possible will buy fake Michael Jackson brain while the 419 gang rakes in the moolah

8. to auction it as some stage to settle his debt, it's part of Asset Forfeiture

9. to show the world a part of the brain that gets raptured before someone is classified moron

10. to allege that Iran stole it so that they can start a war around next year

Well the options are limitless. Maybe you can tell me, apart from grinding it and smoking it, what would you do with a Michael Jackson brain?

Peter Pan Killed A Journalist

When you see a bunch of journalists looking dejected don’t ever be stupid enough to think that maybe one of their own died – maybe a Rupert Murdock or Larry King. I doubt if they’ll ever cry if such happened. They never did when the Bang-Bang Club disintegrated. They don't give a shit about you.

Journalist only fear two things; a deadline and the death of their favourite story. a deadline is like the last train out of a park station – you miss it you are stuck. They can bear missing everything (including coming during coitus) but not a deadline.

So when a journalist has knitted an intriguing story about a ‘dodgy’ minister based on speculation and a shrewd editor rejects the draft and urges him to get bank records of the transaction plus check the Registrar of Member’s Interest and find that the muthafucka actually didn’t commit any crime it is an anti-climax and the story dies.

Apparently a journalists that the credit facility used by the minister in his ‘dodgy’ deal allows him to get a car worth R1.1 million but he went for a measly million. And yeah, it was taxpayer money, and yeah he went with his PA and a driver.

Now, why am I telling you all these? It’s because my friend saw a lot of hacks outside the Jackson family home, some sobbing and sitting their Versace bottoms on pavements and mistakened their fake crocodile tears for emotion and pain at the death of Michael Jackson, Peter Pan, The Gloved One, MoonWalker, Wacko Jacko, Lehlanya etc.

PS. I’m a journo and I can tell you we don’t cry over spilled sources and stories – actually we hardly cry.