Happy Birthday Se Gat!

I haven't been funny in a long time due to reasons that those closest to me know. And I feel that I have been denying you, my loyal 'Mshini visitor some nice comical tidings. So, I'm going to start with two stories I heard recently which are not about Michael Jackson even though he's the biggest comedy that ever lived.

One of my buddies says his closest road-dog (the one you smoke with) was turning 27 (that age that some people choose to die at) and his girlfriend, who has lived in Zilleville (Cape Town) and got exposed to some metrosexual (sexually confused) bullsh*t decided to surprise him with a present. The dude was chilling with friends eSkhaleni blowing his Vuvuzela (drinking a 750 ml quad) when the poor woman came and said, 'hi baby', the guy, taken aback said, 'heita'. Then the GF said smiling, 'Happy Birthday Daddy', the dude acted his thoroughbred upbringing since his boys were watching, 'ah, I never thought about it'.
For sure the dude didn't remember his own birthday because he wasn't shit and didn't have a reason to live since he was born as collateral damage and not for a purpose, so for him forward and backward were the same.

The nice bald chick said, 'Happy Birthday anyway. I have a surprise for you'. Her hands have been hidden behind her back all this time. 'Surprise?, what is it?'.
"Make a wild guess", the dude was smiling now when the woman requested him to close his eyes.
When he opened them she was holding a bunch of flowers that cost her R45, the one they call a boquet and a R23 Happy Birthday card, the one with annoying melody.

The dude received the gifts and threw them to the ground, angry and shaking, "what do you think I am, a goat that eats flowers? You know I'm a drinker and you could have just bought me a half-jack or nip'. The chick was scared now, 'sorry!' while the card was playing 'Happy Birthday'
'You are stupid woman"

Moral of the story; Don't perceive that every guy who puts on a pink shirt, g-string and pierces his lip is metrosexual and start to treat them to sunflowers. Some of us think that metrosexual is a pit stop to homosexual (destination) from heterosexual (pole position) and any insinuation that I should be in touch with my feminine side is like saying I should bend infront of Somizi (hardy mf'wethu)

More crude jokes next time.