Elections 2009, and the Winner is…

I gather information from my well-placed sources at the Enkandla homestead (home of president-in-waiting Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma) in Kwazulu-Natal that a low-key local election has already taken place in the Zuma household. While the nation is busy preparing to cast their vote on April 22 the Zuma family had to elect who was going to be the country’s First Lady after the elections. All five wives were given an equal opportunity.

My sources disclose to me that there was rigorous campaigning (obviously unfunded) by all the five wives of Umsholozi who wanted the benefits of living in Mahlambandlovu (Presidential palace) and free flights in Ingwazi (presidential jet). Well, I am not in the know-how as to how campaigning was carried out (house to house or buying of votes with free uphuthu – sour milk and porridge) but I understand that each wife had to put a case to Msholozi’s 20 something children on why she had to stand beside their father when he takes the vow of office on May 9 at Die Unie Gebou.

Well, while I’m privy to who was voted to become our first lady I will leave such information to the powers that be at Enkandla or Luthuli House to announce who it shall be since quite frankly, South Afrikans are justified to want their First Lady. As communicated earlier such elections have already taken place under the watchful eye of election consultants Shaik & Shaik Electoral Consultants and the results have been audited by independent auditors, Shaik & Shaik Inc who understand numbers better than all of us.