Friends With Benefits

A concept that should be tired by now but which I have a feeling the scriptwriters of etv’s prime time soapy Scandal have just picked is the one about Friends With Benefits or FWB in short. I might think it’s tired because I’ve had a one for almost ten years but this is another relationship terrain that few sexperts want to explore.

Simply put, a FWB is a friend with which you give each other sexual favours when the time and the mood is right. The FWB can be married, in a relationship like so many people love to brag on Facebook or just someone who is not even in a relationship. The bottom line is the bonking and the absence of remorse or guilt after that.

Sounds simple; of course it should be, until one of you starts loving the feeling and wants to copyright it to themselves. Those are the minefields; from the onset it is purely a wham-bang-thank-you-mate affair until the other mate wants the fantasy to develop into a reality. Fuck it, they don’t call it fantasy for nothing.

My well-informed dictionary defines fantasy as ‘Something many people believe that is false’. It’s true, because FWB relationships are actually based on false pretense. At any given time one feels that they want it to become something else but the thought that this person could guzzle your jizzle while they had a partner makes you cringe at the prospect of them becoming an FW-bizzle with some nizzle in the hizzle while you'll be snoozing trying to figure out if life is a puzzle.

And that the FWB is actually good between the sheets makes you want to keep it illicit; isn’t something stolen more kosher than a four course?

So, as the Scandal scriptwriters go on a new definition of the concept, I will be watching with interest since that is my territory. One of my FWBs once told her friend when she was crying because her FWB wasn’t answering her calls that ‘you must be loving this son-of-a-bitch my friend, if he can make you cry’.

That was a caution; ‘never let your FWB make you cry because once that happens you have already crossed the line and should withdraw immediately’. One of my friends, who is as informed as my dictionary once told me, ‘never love anything to the point that you can not stand back and watch it die’. So be it with FWBs.